Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Silver Squirrel Awards
1. Children wearing suits.
2. Team-building exercises.
3. Piers Morgan.
4. the soul patch.
5. the Miami Heat
6. Communication whistles.
7. Walkie Talkie cell phones.
8. Apple commercials.
9. Genocide
10. Natural Peanut Butter.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
High Five: Friday Fun Facts
1.Eight out of ten people agree that Sunday dresses look weird on Tuesdays.
2. A coconut has as much caffeine as a cup of coffee.
3. Left handed people are twice as likely to shoplift before the age of 18.
4. The average human consumes 3 grasshoppers in a lifetime of sleeping.
5. All left handed men who wear Sunday dresses on Tuesdays shoplift.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Third Place Thursday
1. Babe Ruth (home runs)
2. Carl Lewis (long jump)
3. Igor Paklin (High Jump)
4. Leonid Stadnyk (Height)
5. Alessandro Andrei (shot put)
6. Brett Hull (goals hockey)
7. Street Fighter (video games-quarters)
8. Coast Douglas-fir (tree height)
9. Yangtze River (river length)
10. Shanghai World Financial Center (Building height)
2. Carl Lewis (long jump)
3. Igor Paklin (High Jump)
4. Leonid Stadnyk (Height)
5. Alessandro Andrei (shot put)
6. Brett Hull (goals hockey)
7. Street Fighter (video games-quarters)
8. Coast Douglas-fir (tree height)
9. Yangtze River (river length)
10. Shanghai World Financial Center (Building height)
Monday, May 23, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
New Green Ideas
1. Mini rooster alarm clocks2. Verbally abusive houseplants
3. Five leaf clovers
4. Parakeet Psychiatrists
5. Bicycles that charge batteries
6. Frog fighting
7. Lettuce Envelopes
Leaked War Documents
Excerpts from leaked documents: To the Media: Government PR adjustments
1. “Civilian Limb Shredder Bomb” will now be called “Daisy Cutter”
2. “killed in battle” to be replaced by “lost in conflict”
3. ”wounded” replaced by “receiving medical attention”
4. “civilian casualties” replaced by “locals no longer with us”
Example:
Before: A civilian limb shredder bomb was dropped on ####### 3 soldiers were killed in battle and 20 were wounded. There was thought to be 55 civilian casualties.
After: A Daisy cutter was released on the Province of ######. 3 heroes were lost in the conflict and 20 heroes are receiving medical attention. About 55 ##### locals are no longer with us.
(2003)
LSD Songs
1. Larry at the Store with Donna
2. Lumber Sales and Delivery
3. Listen Sally your Dumb
4. Lump Sum Debate
5. Liquid Soap Dish
6. Legend of Salad Drinks
7. Latex Shower Drapes
8. Lysol Smelling Dreams
9. Lemon Sage and Dandelions
10. Lazy Sun and Diving boards
Shark Study
I recent study at Aquatic University revealed some interesting things about Sharks:
1. Great White sharks exposed to 24 hours of video of humans swimming and playing with sharks were 25 times more likely to kill sharks that played with humans.
2. Great White sharks exposed to 24 hours of video of humans swimming and playing with sharks were 50 times more likely to kill sharks that played with humans and make those humans watch.
3. Great White sharks given the anti-depressant Prozac were 10 times more likely to agree swim and play with humans.
4. Great White sharks given the anti-depressant Prozac and the anti-anxiety medication Klonopin were 50 times more likely to agree to be filmed swimming and playing with humans.
Earthquake
Earthquakes
Ever wonder when the world is going to end. Track hourly earthquake information at www.neic.usgs.gov. Be the first one in your neighborhood to say the "the end is near!" and be right.
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